


Free(Dom) Fall In Love

by NorthrenLight



Series: Free(dom) Fall In Love [1]
Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, cql, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - Fandom
Genre: Domestic, Dreams, Emotional, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hugs & kisses, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Married Life, Pining, past traumas, small injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29923833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthrenLight/pseuds/NorthrenLight
Summary: Even after almost three years of marriage, there are certain dreams that keep Lan Zhan awake and restless at night. Those dreams then start to create a fear which then turns into small gulf of silent distance between the two. It Wei Ying is terrified of it and he tries to get to the bottom of it. A few situations, leads them to finally open up about the ongoing change in their marriage, they realise that there is so much unspoken and unclear past standing between them which they have to heal from. The support from family helps them too. Of course, one cannot heal alone. It takes two or more to do so.There is nothing love cannot sort, solve or heal.Humans.We heal, together, after all.
Relationships: Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian, Lan zhan & wei ying, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, WangXian - Relationship
Series: Free(dom) Fall In Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200686
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. Doubts in Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> First of all, Happy International Women´s day. 
> 
> Northern Lights from the very North of the world, once again here. This is my very first attempt to write a WangXian fanfiction and I hope you guys can still be gentle with me, although it might not fall to the taste of some of you, dear readers. I planned 3000 words, with title "Free(dom) fall in love", but it became into a serie. I blame WangXian for this. 
> 
> I have decided to post all three chapters at once, though chapter system confused me a lot. My final thoughts would be at the end note of the last chapter. 
> 
> English is my fifth language and this story has no beta, only me.
> 
> Disclaimer: The story is pure fictional although characters are based on actual novel characters and some issues mentioned resemble or are as written in the original story.  
> This story is only for entertainment purposes. Any similarity to another real person or their lives is a pure coincidence.
> 
> I apologies in advance if my words in anyway would hurt or offend the sentiments of any of my readers. I mean no harm, and no disrespect.
> 
> Please message me in dms, if that would be the case, because I would happily correct my mistakes.
> 
> Thank you for stopping by and I hope you give this story a chance, and enjoy. I look forward to your kind and constructive feedback. Please do not hesitate to leave a kind comment, or just a smile. It would mean a lot to me.
> 
> I am not going to hold your attention any longer here.
> 
> Enjoy the story.
> 
> Smiles,  
> Northern Light
> 
> PS. Please do not repost, plagiarise, or translate my words and my story. Thank you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lingering doubts and fears tied and knitted in past have enveloped their beautiful bond. They are both afraid but silent. They try to reach out to each other, yet fail more than succeed.

_“What are you searching for here again?” he asks._

_  
“I am searching for my freedom. I want to be free,” she replies._

_  
“You do not feel free while living here?” he asks._

_  
She does not reply but smiles instead, saying, “You understood it all wrong.”_

_“Your loved ones are here. Do you still want to be free?”  
  
_

_“Yes,” she replies._

_“Why?” he questions. “Let me help you find it?”_

_  
“A-Zhan, wake up. Do not stay here. He is waiting for you.”_

_  
“No. Wait,” he shouts as he sees her fading in front of him. “You need to answer me. What is your freedom?”  
  
  
"A-Zhan, wake up. Do not stay here. He is waiting for you.”  
._

_._

_._

The gong in Cloud recesses rings, five O’clock in the morning. However, that is not what Lan Zhan wakes up to. He woke up to the very familiar soft voice he hears often in his dream now a days. He looks to his left and sees love of his life, Wei Ying, who is sleeping peacefully, with head right on top of his heart, and an arm and a leg wrapped around him. Lan Zhan brushes Wei Ying´s hair, to see his beautiful face, and then kisses him. Wei Ying scrunches up his nose, and without opening his eyes, smiles, saying,

“Good morning to my darling husband.”

“Good morning to my beautiful husband too.”

“In beauty, you win Lan Zhan.”

“In my eyes, no one but you win.”

“Ayio Lan Zhan, stop this right now or you will be late!” Wei Ying warns him, teasingly.

“Perhaps I should try being late for once?” Lan Zhan teases him back turning both of them so they could face each other. He lets his soul soak in Wei Ying´s radiant presence.

“Oh No! My husband woke up today to become a rebel of Gusu. Uncle Qiren will kill me,” Wei Ying fake gasps, pushes Lan Zhan on his back again and towers Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan wraps both arms behind his neck, smiling,

“Does Wei Ying wish for me to be rebel? Then I might just be that. Say the words.”

Wei Ying gasps and blushes which never ceases to amaze Lan Zhan, and his being soars in love for his man. He then he falls on top of Lan Zhan, giggling.

“Lan Zhan! Stop it. I will die of your sweet words one day!”

“Oh?” Lan Zhan plays with his hair, “I thought Wei Ying likes sweets”

  
“Well Wei Ying likes sweets, but he loves spices. What are you going to do about that?”, mumbles Wei Ying in Lan Zhan chest and Lan Zhan´s heart aches with guilt. He knows what Wei Ying just hinted. He is so well aware of it, yet there is a sudden barrier he seems not to break down, for God knows what reason, all the sudden.

With Lan Xichen in seclusion, his responsibilities are doubled. However, this is not to blame entirely for what has been going on. Recently there has been a distance and neglect which has gone out of control and he does not know how to go about this. There is a doubt, etched to his mind with a fear so known, and it is killing him. He should try to talk to him about this.

“Wei Ying… I”, he tries.

  
“Time to get up, right? I will go and see if breakfast is delivered or not. Go, freshen up husband,” says Wei Ying with smile that does not reach his eyes, and as soon as moves away from Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan´s whole being fills with pain.

“You should sleep more, Wei Ying”, he tries to hold his wrist, but fails. Wei Ying is already out of bed, reaching for his gown.

“Oh no! I am not sleepy. I will do some chores at home, and then mark some essays from the two classes I teach now. Also, tonight I will be accompanying A-Yuan and his group for night hunt. So do not miss me too much.”  
  


_“I miss you all the time.”_

  
“But Wei Ying loves sleeping,” says Lan Zhan as his gaze moves with every movement Wei Ying´s beautiful body is making while being draped in red and dark blue robes, leaving him yearning.

“Mn, but I love you more,” says Wei Ying and walks further away from him.

Lan Zhan stares at his retreated back, dark black hair flowing in air, with red ribbon that creates the perfect contrast to mesmerise him.

_“I love you more, Wei Ying.”_

Sighing he leaves the bed to freshen up and get dressed. Wei Ying fetches the breakfast and sets the table, and as usual, they work around their home to do their chores in perfect rhythm. Epic domestic harmony. Lan Zhan reaches for his comb, and Wei Ying suddenly appears behind him, asking,  
“Want me to do your hair today, Husband?”  
  


Lan Zhan´s hands stop, as he sees Wei Ying´s hesitant face.  
 _  
“Since when has my Wei Ying become hesitant?”  
  
_ “Please”, says Lan Zhan and hands him the comb. Wei Ying start combing his hair, both delicately and lovingly. He has always loved Lan Zhan´s soft and silky hair. Once the crown is fixed on the head, Wei Ying looks at the forehead ribbon but does not reach for it. Lan Zhan notices it, and frowns at this hesitation again.

He then hands him the forehead and smiles with a hope that it helps Wei Ying to never hesitate again. Wei Ying smiles back and start putting it on his forehead, while looking in the mirror carefully so that it is placed perfectly.

  
“Lan Zhan, forehead ribbon is very sacred, right? Only spouse and close family can touch it, right?”

  
“Yes. This is why Wei Ying can touch it and have it” replies Lan Zhan, slightly confused over the sudden question that Wei Ying answered himself. He wonders where this conversation is going.

“Wei Ying can have it?”, repeats Wei Ying, with a slight wonder in his voice.  
The question seems more for Wei Ying himself than Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan´s heart sinks.

  
“Mn. It belongs to Wei Ying,” insists Lan Zhan meaning every word.

  
“I see,” says Wei Ying with a smile so untrue, Lan Zhan trembles. “There! All done”, announces Wei Ying in his typical manner and just turns away.

  
Lan Zhan stares in the mirror, with an unknown fear that suddenly arises.  
“Wei Ying!”, he calls.

  
However, Wei Ying has already left the bedroom. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  


“You think Lan Zhan would ever cheat on me, Zewu-Jun?”

Lan Xichen chokes.

After being married to Lan Zhan for soon three years, Wei Ying has been bestowed with some duties, and one of them, which he asked himself of personally, is to have tea with Zewu-Jun every day, while he was in seclusion. Zewu-Jun has always been there for him and Lan Zhan as an unwavering support system, and there was no way Wei Ying wanted him to just sit and mourn his errors and losses in silence. Though Lan Qiren opposed it, Lan Zhan thought it was a brilliant idea, since his older brother too deserves some of the positive light that Wei Ying brings into his own life daily.  
  


So, to his uncle´s protest, Lan Zhan had counter argued.

“With all due respect to Shufu, this humble one believes that Wei Ying would be a positive vibe that big brother might need during his reflection and catharsis which in itself is a very heavy and painful process for him right now. His family should be there for him and Wei Ying is family too now.”

World should have seen how Wei Ying´s face had lit after having his husband´s support in that matter. Lan Zhan was entrusting his brother to Wei Ying, was yet another testimony that Lan Zhan trusts him with his life and love. Lan Zhan declared him as part of his family once again. That day Wei Ying fell in love with Lan Zhan even more. If it was even possible, that is.

So, Lan Xichen chokes on his tea while processing the words Wei Ying´s filter free mouth just left right now.

“Ayio, I am sorry,” Wei Ying rushes over to his side and start patting Zewu-Jun´s back. “I am so sorry, please breath. Do not faint Zewu-Jun. Please.”

“That is… That is… the hardest thing to imagine, Wei Gongzi,” is all Lan Xichen manages to say.

Wei Ying´s hands freeze, he slumps and lets a huge sigh out. Of course, he knows that. Lan Zhan is not the type to be dishonest and cheater. Why did he even ask this question is also a wonder for him. Though he knows that distress can play very bad tricks to the tongue sometimes.

“Wei Gongzi, why with such heavy heart today?”, asks Zewu Jun, with a friendly smile his lips almost never leave.

“Oh, it’s nothing, its nothing. Please have these moon cakes. A-Cheng sent them from Yunmeng and told me to share with you or else he would shave my head,” waving his hands in air, Wei Ying goes back to his cheerful mode that he hides his hollows and scars behind, all too perfectly.

Lan Xichen looks intently at him, detecting his hurts, pats his shoulder and goes,

“Wei Gongzi! Do you know that you are a blessing in my and A-Zhan´s lives?”

Wei Ying does not look up, but his eyes are slowly filling with unshed tears which he refuses to let out right now.

  
Lan Xichen gives another try.

“Wei Gongzi, do you know how you have been as a new family member of ours?”

Wei Ying shakes his head, saying, “I am pretty… useless”

“I disagree. Wei Gongzi is a blessing. He taught us a lot of things. Taught us how to love and how not to love, how to trust, how not to trust, how to support and not support, how to fight and not fight. Wei Gongzi also knows how to heal people physically, mentally and emotionally, by being by their sides and going out of his way to make sure everything is alright. Wei Gongzi cares so much. He is brave, intelligent, knowledgeable and so very loyal. He talks, and he listens too, and he has been my best company. He is such a great father, intelligent teacher, a supportive husband, perfect son-in-law, and friend like brother-in-law”.

“I am not this great, Zewu-Jun. I just try my best. I feel like I have been given so much and in return, I have almost nothing to give. It scares me because… I have noticed that when you do not give back enough or equal, you lose what you get and have.”

  
“A-Zhan, A-Yuan and I disagree. You give more than you can imagine, though love is not about give and take,” says Lan Xichen to which Wei Ying lets us a broken laughter which saddens Lan Xichen´s heart even more. Never in million years he ever thought to see Wei Ying in such state. He thinks for a while, and then decides on sharing something.

“Wei Gongzi let me tell you a secret. I do not think A-Zhan will tell you and I do not think A-Yuan remembers. First, promise me you will share what you are troubled with. Only then I will tell you what I have in mind,” placing a freshly filled cup of tea in front of Wei Ying, Lan Xichen offers him this deal.

“Promise you would not tell Lan Zhan? Or anyone else?” asks Wei Ying in a whisper.

“I promise. Just like you do not tell my secrets to anyone, I would not tell yours. We are friend like Brother-In-Laws, after all. Every day for the past three years, you have been all ears for me. Today, I want to be the same for you. Please, let me Wei Gongzi. Think of me as a big brother?”

Nibling his inner-lip, Wei Ying thinks for a while as he tosses and turns the million thoughts and billion feelings around, all at the same time. Then he decides to risk it all, breaths and nods.

“OK. I promise,” replies Wei Ying and takes the offered cup of tea to his lips, sipping and waiting for Lan Xichen to talk.

“When A-Zhan found A-Yuan, he had gone to look for you. He was injured and shattered. Though there were no signs of you, he found and took A-Yuan back. Right at the gates, he collapsed, due injuries and fever but still he would not let A-Yuan go, whispering, **_“Ours. Please. Ours”._** Later, when I inquired, he told me that you had told Lan Zhan A-Yuan is your son, and how the same day, people had mistaken him for being A-Yuan´s father. I think you remember that day, right?”

Wei Ying smiles a distant smile thinking about the day he would not forget no matter how many times he dies and gets reborn.

“I remember that day. Lan Zhan lied to me for the first time. He said he was in that town for the night hunt but really, he was there because he missed me. He bought A-Yuan loads of toys, paid for our dinner, though I had invited him for it, and A-Yuan called him Rich GeGe. He came with us to Burial mounds too.”  
  


_“And I did not want him to leave me. I wanted him to be with me forever.”  
  
_

Lan Xichen nods, eyes full of sentiments because recalling this part of the past the of his younger brother is very hard for him too. The agony of Lan Zhan broke him daily and he was too helpless as an older brother who was one of the most powerful cultivators but still to bring back the one his brother yearned for, was impossible even for him.

“That day, what A-Zhan learnt was, how special A-Yuan was to you, and since you were special to A-Zhan, he counted A-Yuan as not just yours, but his too. That is why he called him, **_ours_**. A-Zhan never claimed anything or anyone as his own, his whole life. Shufu and I, we were his family, you and then A-Yuan are the two persons he chose, as his. Though he paid a heavy and unfair price for it but perhaps that is what love is. For anything so precious, price is the highest.”

Wei Ying is at utter loss of words as a silent tear falls from his eye. There is a lot that stands unknown and silent between him and his husband. They have not had enough time to sit and talk about their past, losses, and traumas. He so wants to, but he worries he might trigger something he would not be able to fix. To err is human nature, but when the world declares your whole existence as an error that never should have happened, to err becomes the biggest fear. Fear then, blocks communication and distances are then born.

Lan Xichen continuous.

“First I could not 100% understand why A-Zhan would take such heavy responsibility and risk. A-Yuan was the child from Wen sect, and everyone was against them. Lan Zhan put his entire reputation, life and future on stake. He challenged all rules of Gusu Lan sect once again. Shufu was furious to the point where he wanted to drag the poor child out, and that was the first time I told him that as a sect leader, I get to decide it, that if A-Zhan adopts him as his child then, A-Yuan is his son and shall it be addressed and respected as his son, Lan Yuan. Shufu did not talk to me for almost two weeks. It was first time I had disobeyed him. A-Yuan had high fever when he was brought in, it took him three weeks to wake up fully. He lost all his past memory. Once he woke up fully, he asked for the big brother who brought him in here. I took him to A-Zhan, who was still recovering, not even able to lie on his back properly. A-Yuan went straight to him, touched his face, touched his forehead ribbon, kissed his cheeks and kept repeating, **_“GeGe, I am sorry. GeGe, GeGe._** ” A-Zhan let him do all that which was yet another shock for me because you know how physically distant my younger brother used to be.”  
  
Wei Ying lets a tiny giggle out. Of course, he remembers the rigid, icy, and very distant Lan Zhan with “Do not even think to come close to me” written all over him, too well.  
  


“I thought A-Yuan was distressed to see that the kind GeGe that saved him and brought him in here, perhaps got punished for it. Then slowly A-Zhan started to whisper to him,

 ** _“It´s OK Lan Yuan. Lan Yuan. GeGe just fell from the mountain and is injured. GeGe will recover soon and take Lan Yuan to see the bunnies. Can Lan Yuan wait for this GeGe for a bit longer, like a good boy and listen to Uncle Xichen?”_** His words worked like Magic. A-Yuan stopped crying, cleaned his face at once and smiled. That was when after many months, I saw my brother letting out a tiny smile too. I took the medicine out to do A-Zhan daily change of bandages. The moment I applied balm on his wounds, A-Zhan very slightly trembled, and guess what A-Yuan did?”

“What did he do, Zewu-Jun?”, asks Wei Ying brushing away his tears.

“He slapped my hand away, took the balm and patted it on the wounds with his tiny fingers, himself!”

Wei Ying gasps, “A-Yuaaaan??? That tiny kid slapped you?”

Lan Xichen lets a small laughter escape his lips.

“Yes, both A-Zhan and I gasped too. No one has ever slapped my hands before. Then another surprise. A-Zhan was not upset at his behaviour. He gently told him to never hit someone like this again and told him to apologies to me which he did, though he still would not let me put the balm on. We ended up being a medical team of two, dispatched every day to A-Zhan, who seemed to recover faster than expected. So, I am grateful for that slap because it gave me answers that I was looking for.”

“What answers, Zewu-Jun?”, whispers Wei Ying, crying heavily. 

“That A-Yuan, was meant to be Lan Yuan. That the bond between A-Yuan and A-Zhan was not one sided, and the one who forged it was Wei Gongzi. A-Yuan saw A-Zhan as his person too and knew he could trust him hence he felt the duty to protect A-Zhan. They protected each other and they saved each other. A-Zhan recovered, so well, he started to eat with A-Yuan, while teaching him dinner table manners, guiding him about how to dress, how to talk, walk, read, write and play Guqin. A devoted father for his son. A-Yuan became his pride and joy. The son that you gave him and left behind for him, Wei Gongzi, that son saved my brother, and became the light in his darkest life. Suddenly I understood everything and the wrong thoughts I had about you while I saw my brother was in pain, were gone. I understood you much more then Wei Gongzi. My brother was right about you all along. You have been the constant and only wanted presence in A-Zhan´s life. He has never committed to someone the way he did to you since he was Fifteen. Likewise, was it not you who declared him his soulmate, when you were fifteen also? Look how much you have given to him. What both of you have, is a unique blessing of heavens. Please do not doubt that. Wei Gongzi, do you see? Wei Gongzi _IS_ a blessing.”  
  
Wei Ying nods, letting his tears falls in his lap, both quietly and with sobs. Lan Xichen lets him feel the emotions that his words woke in Wei Ying´s heart for a while, places a handkerchief in Wei Ying´s lap, and closes his eyes to take a deep breath. This was indeed a well needed conversation. This was something that was had to be talked about long time ago. He should have shared with Wei Ying the things he has not been aware of since he was not here.

  
He promises himself to get to the bottom of this. His gaze then moves towards window, where he then see few young cultivators that are sitting on the grass, discussing something. He remembers those years when the whole world around him echoed in celebration of Wei Wuxian´s death, yet at his own home, his brother wore mourning clothes, got drunk, burnt his chest with hot iron, cried, and mourned for him for years. He remembers JingShi echoing with Enquiry for hours every day and Lan Zhan´s fingers being red and blue. There were emotions of Lan Zhan that he would never understand since he did not feel them, though one thing was clear. To Lan Zhan, after losing his mother, the loss of Wei Ying was the biggest. Though losses could never be compared. Mother was mother and love of your life, is love of your life.  
Still, no one comes close, above or beyond Wei Ying.  
  
 _Then exactly what was going on?_

Lan Xichen sees now all grown up A-Yuan under a huge cherry tree, who is trying to drag JingYi down, to make him sit next to him, while JinLing is shouting about something, at both of them. How he has witnessed these children growing up, amazes him. How time flies. The A-Yuan who would hold his hand, skipping on his feet, towards JingShi where Lan Zhan would be waiting for them, is now an adult. He has two fathers that love and support him. He has amazing friends, and approval of Lan Qiren too. Of course, he always had Uncle Xichen to spoil and guide him as well, but he does not want the shed the light of him spoiling his nephew stories right now. 

He moves his gaze back to the room, where the heartbroken Wei Ying, is staring at his empty hands, with blood red eyes. Come to think of it, this is the first time, he has witnessed this side of Wei Ying. He looks like an innocent child who is so afraid to lose the only precious thing he has in his life. He looks so precious himself too.  
  
“Wei Gongzi”  
  
“Zewu-Jun?”  
  
“Would you please tell me a bit of your troubles now? Perhaps I could help you,” asks Lan Xichen, smiling ever so gently.

“You see Zewu-Jun… a month ago, in all sect conference´ dinner… some sect leaders that I do not even want to remember the names or faces of suggested Lan Zhan to have a female wife to have… a proper and pure kin. He said it was such pity that Esteemed HanGuang Jun, does not have his brilliant blood line being brought further and bla bla bla. I know even after all those years and all the clarifications; people still are scared of me and dislike me. I get that. However, they just suggested a marriage to Lan Zhan as if this marriage he has with me is not valid and has no significance. Then right in my face, a few other agreed. You should have been there… I was so shocked, I poured tea in soup bowl by mistake and instead of eating the pastry myself, I fed it to Nie Huesang, almost killing him. A-Cheng nearly broke their legs, you know?”

There are many arts that Wei Ying possesses but one of them is the art of storytelling. The way he paints the picture and the flow of one event after another, step by step, guides the minds of the listeners to see that whole thing play right in front of them like a live theatre piece. So, after hearing it all, Lan Xichen cannot help but hide his big smile behind the sleeve of his gown because he could see it all happening though his mind was shook at the same time. 

“You are right, I should have been there. That is very rude of them, Wei Gongzi. What did A-Zhan reply to that?”, he asks.

“Lan Zhan… well…” Wei Ying reaches for the corner of his own gown and start to ruffle it around his finger, seemingly confused and distressed.

“He… told them it was very disrespectful of them, and he would not forgive such manners should anyone utter such nonsensical statement ever again. He then said that he has a son and pointing at A-Yuan who was about to cry too.”

“And what does that tell you, Wei Gongzi?”, asks Lan Xichen softly.

“That tells me less and confuses me more. Because you see from that night onwards… usually we … every night…”

“Wei … Gongzi! I don’t think you need to…”, Lan Xichen´s voice carries a warning to help Wei Ying stop before he says something Lan Xichen absolutely does not need to know.

“Yes? Oh! No. NO! I am not talking about THAT… Ayiooo! Zewu Jun! what are you thinking? I meant to say, every night we sit and talk after dinner where Lan Zhan discusses the daily issues with me and I tell him about mine, before bed, Zewu Jun. BEFORE. BED. But since that night… he became quieter and more distant. Two weeks ago, he went away for another meeting for three days. Usually when he comes back, we spend rest of the day together, at home, but that also did not happen. He went straight to meeting hall. He has taken duties both for days, and some nights too now.”  
  
 _“Maybe you were talking about THAT too then,”_ thinks Lan Xichen to himself.

“Now that IS strange. Was that all that happened that day?” Lan Xichen seems visibly worried.

“Right? See, before the conference dinner, we went for a long walk, talked about dragons and birds, and I told him in my next life I want us to be two dragons and we would fly wherever we want. We will be so free. That night, though I was so hurt by those fools at the dinner, all he asked me was if I wanted to go for travelling alone because in these three years, he has been so busy, and we have hardly made trips outside Gusu. He said I can be away for as long as I want to and go wherever I want to. Like… would he not miss me? What does that supposed to mean? Then he just got quiet and now he is busier than before. What am I supposed to make all of it? My head and heart hurts. I am not so clever enough to read brains, Zewu Jun and I cannot talk to anyone else, here can I? If someone figures out our small distance, they might also suggest him to merry a woman. I would not… It will not happen right?”  
  


As Wei Ying talks, his pout is visible, fear spread all over his beautiful features and Lan Xichen feels the hurt Wei Ying is feeling deeply but showing lightly.

“No, Wei Gongzi. This will never happen. Lans get married only once, regardless of male or female partners. Your union will never break. I guarantee you,”, Lan Xichen tries to assure him while being confused by his younger brother´s sudden change of behaviour.  
  
“What about second wives? Concubines? Secret lovers?” asks Wei Ying.  
  


“They are prohibited,” replies Lan Xichen and Wei Ying lets out a huge sigh.  
  


“I hate rules, but this one might become my most favourite rule of all the three thousand something rules, from now on” he says, relaxing visibly.  
  
“I am not sure what has happened to trigger such behaviour from A-Zhan. I promise I will not share anything from what you entrusted me with today, but I will try to investigate this on my own. Thank you for trusting me Wei Gongzi. It pleases me that you trusted me and shared something so intimate and important with me, though it saddens me to see you go through this, at the same time.”  
  


Wei Ying suddenly looks so embarrassed, and its endearing.

“Thank you for listening to me. It almost feels like… I… talked to… to Shijie. Please do not trouble too much for me. Focus on getting better instead. We all need your presence out there, you know.”  
  
“I am glad that talking to you was such comfort. Come talk to me anytime, Wei Gongzi. You are welcome here. Also… I apologies for… not being out there, yet. I am aware that my absence has robbed off many people many things. I have started to take upon some administrative work. I do not intend to have you all waiting for too long. Please accept my apology.”  
  
“Oh no no no!”, hands waving in air, Wei Ying shakes his head, “Zewu Jun should take as much time as needed to work on himself. No rush! Please.”  
  


“Thank You, Wei Gongzi. Thank you for being such unconditional support for us all.”  
  
“Please do not say that. Did you not say that we are family? If it is true, then no thank you and no sorry between us,” says Wei Ying and then cannot help but to become nostalgic.  
 _  
“There is no need for sorry and thank you, between us, Wei Ying,”_ was what Lan Zhan had told him once.  
  
“Saying sorry and thank you is equally important when you are closest because Wei Gongzi, sometimes not saying it could seem like taking everything for granted. That is also not good. Balance is the key. Nothing wrong in accepting mistakes and showing appreciations every now and then,” says Lan Xichen and Wei Ying bows his head.

  
“I would also suggest something, Wei Gongzi. I know my brother always has hard time to open up for the things he struggles with. However, you are his life-partner, has all rights to know things that you notice affect your relationship with him. Perhaps you should try to ask him directly, instead of being silent. He would not know what he is doing to you, unless you tell him.”  
  


Wei Ying looks at Lan Xichen and smiles.

He agrees.  
“I will try.”

He bids Lan Xichen farewell, and walks out from his residence feeling light yet, steps still heavy. The sun is about to set. He has to go to night hunt with the boys today. Suddenly he spots A-Yuan and JingYi trying to reach for some cherries on the biggest cherry tree in the yard. They have a ladder too, yet they still are trying to jump high to reach the highest branches.

“Little Fools”, mumbles Wei Ying and laughs as he walks towards them.  
  
“So! Why not using the ladder when you want to reach the top of the tree?”  
  
“Greeting father!”  
“Greeting Senior Wei!”

  
Both boys join hands, bow in unison.

“Ayiooo! Always in sync. Such a pair of fine young ones I have here. Please never change!”  
JingYi scratches his cheek looking at A-Yuan who looks at his father with very happy eyes.

  
“Did father visit Zewu Jun? How is he feeling today? When can we visit him?” he asks.

  
“I did. He is much better. We might see him out and about soon but keep it a secret OK?”

  
“Of course!”

  
The boys chime in unison again and Wei Ying bursts into laughter.  
  
“Synchronised again, haan? Let us use the ladder.”  
  
“This ladder is quiet flimsy Senior Wei. It could be dangerous,” warns JingYi with exact words that A-Yuan had said to him when he brought the ladder. A-Yuan therefore looks at him and cannot help to laugh a bit. Wei Ying looks at the bucket on the side of the tree, with some cherries already in it and he gives the boys a questioning look.

Exactly what are these two up to.  
  
“You see… Senior Wei… Han GuangJun seems to be so down now a days. He is stressed out and has so much to do. He is teaching perfectly and amazing in meetings but… he seems less cheerful. When we were small, A-Yuan and I would always bring him cherries and he would always smile at us, thanking us. So, we thought, perhaps they would still make him happy now… after… many years?” explains JingYi who seems to be unsure of his own idea by the end of his explanation, so he looks at A-Yuan for help.

Following JingYi´s gaze, Wei Ying also looks at A-Yuan who blushes slightly as he stammers,  
“Father… really likes them and whenever I did well at school and Guqin lessons, he would come to pick cherries with me. He told me that… his mother used to make a cherry desert for him, to cheer him up. He really likes them.”  
  
So, other people notice the change in him too? That is not OK. Wei Ying suddenly wants to cry but instead he moves and holds both A-Yuan and JingYi into a big hug and rests his own forehead on top of A-Yuan´s head. The three of them stand there in silent. A-Yuan is the one to hug him back and then JingYi.

  
“My boys are so lovely. We are so blessed. So so blessed,” he whispers.  
A-Yuan nods his head still mushed into Wei Ying´s shoulder and says, “Mn”, just like his other father, which Wei Ying smile.  
  


“OK,” says Wei Ying as he releases them from the hug, “Let us make Lan Zhan happy then. Bring the ladder, you two hold it, I ll pick them.”  
The boys nod and bring the ladder and once it is secured on the ground and against the tree, the boys hold it from both sides, and Wei Ying climbs it.

  
Being tall and being on ladder helped because soon their bucket was almost full. Wei Ying kept talking to them about how he used to climb trees and dive in lakes in Yunmeng, fearlessly and boys kept asking him more about the times he was young and wild. Their chatter suddenly comes to a halt, when the boys spot Lan Zhan coming their way. Wei Ying is still unaware of it, as he is on the ladder with back towards everyone. So, he keeps on talking, about the wine made of cherry he once had tasted in a foreign land somewhere, while he was travelling randomly, when he suddenly hears yet another synchronised,  
  


“Greeting HanGuang Jun”


	2. Mad in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is as title goes. They are literally and metaphorically mad, in love.

“Greeting HanGuang Jun”

Wei Ying first freezes, then turns so fast, his right foot slips and he is in the air. However, he then lands into something soft with very familiar sandalwood scent. It takes him a while to comes back from the clouds of shock and back to the gravity of Earth. He raises his head and finds his most favourite face, while being princess carried. Those golden eyes that takes his breath away are staring at him with worried filled in them. Those beautiful petal pink lips that he never gets tired of kissing, suddenly utters his name,  
  
“Wei Ying”

“You caught me,” says Wei Ying looking at him, adoring his worried face for him.

  
“As always,” replied Lan Zhan.  
  
Wei Ying closes his eyes and rests his head to the chest that always homes him. Lan Zhan had caught him in his arms. As always. Lan Zhan caught him.  
  
“Yes, Lan Zhan.”  
  
Lan Zhan´s arms tighten around him, as he asks, “Are you alright? It is dangerous to stand on such flimsy ladder. Why are you suddenly picking the cherries?”  
  
“Oh… well… You see. What was that again…,” Wei Ying is so comfortable suddenly, he forgets what he was doing.

  
“They are for you, Han GuangJun,” informs JingYi proudly, and Wei Ying stares at the magical change of Lan Zhan´s face, that transforms from a tired and worried face to a tiny joyful smile. We Ying then looks at A-Yuan who smiles at Lan Zhan so brightly, as he brings the bucket to him to show how much they actually had picked.  
  
“I thank all three of you for your efforts,” says Lan Zhan and both JingYi and A-Yuan lights up like huge light towers.

  
Wei Ying could not move his eyes away from Lan Zhan. He kept staring and taking every single detail of his face in, as if he is looking at Lan Zhan for the first time.  
The boys take the bucket, to kitchen to wash the cherries first, before they would bring them to JingShi.  
  
Lan Zhan does not move and looks down at Wei Ying in his arms.  
  
“Did Wei Ying cry?” asks Lan Zhan looking at his slightly swollen and red eyes. Wei Ying’s brain stops.

  
“No, No Lan Zhan. It’s just that I rubbed my eyes while picking up the cherries, and seasonal allergies and all that sort of stuff you know,” he makes the lamest excuse in the history of his excuses with a silent prayer that Lan Zhan buys it.  
  
Lan Zhan frowns and stares intently at him.

Excuse rejected. Prayer unheard.  
  
“Did Big Brother…”  
  
“No! He did not say anything to me. He is very kind as usual. We… I… just,” Wei Ying cannot come up with anything and forever patient Lan Zhan waits. Seeing that Lan Zhan would not give up, Wei Ying sighs and goes,  
  
“I just… missed Shijie… Zewu Jun reminds me of her sometimes, OK? So today, I really missed her.”  
  
This was not entirely a lie nor a truth and seemed to work because Lan Zhan´s eyes suddenly soften. He nods.  
  


“She was gentle like big brother. Very understanding and always open to help others,” says Lan Zhan and Wei Ying cannot help but to place a kiss on Lan Zhan´s shoulder, as a silent apology that he lied to him. He never lies to his Lan Zhan because he knows Lan Zhan does not lie to him either.

  
Lying is prohibited in the cloud recesses.  
  
“Wei Ying,”  
  
Wei Ying smiles and goes, “Lan Zhan! Would you just carry me like this to JingShi, if I ask you to?”  
  
“Does Wei Ying wants me to?” asks Lan Zhan with a dotting smile that Wei Ying has not seen in so many days recently. His heart gives a huge thud against his ribcage. Ah, he loves this man so much. Never in a billion years had he thought that he would be longing for the man he is married to, while being this close with him.  
  
“Yes… Yes Please?” is all he manages to say.  
  
Nodding, Lan Zhan, starts walking towards JingShi, with Wei Ying in his arms. They meet a few young cultivators on their way, who looks at them, blush, and avoid them but Lan Zhan does not seem to worry about them at all. He does not bat an eye. Nope. Why would he? They are married. There is no rule in here that says, “Carrying husband in princess style is prohibited in the cloud recesses!”  
  


Well… not yet anyway. Lan Qiren might as well make one, and get it engraved on the wall of rules if he sees them like this, in almost gone broad day light.

Suddenly Wei Ying decides to do what Lan Xichen had suggested. They need to talk. They have to start from somewhere. Wei Ying thinks for a while about what he should talk about, and his mind provides him a brilliant idea.  
  
“Lan Zhan! Do you remember when… when you and I went to Yunmeng for the first time, after fought at Burial mounds again, against the fierce corpse… when A-Cheng allowed me to enter Yunmeng, again?”  
  
“Mn”  
  
“And… I took you around the town… showed you my favourite places and my favourite tree…Do you remember that?”  
  
“Mn, I remember. You suddenly climbed it, and suddenly jumped,” replies Lan Zhan while looking ahead, walking. 

  
They are closer to JingShi, and there is no one around so Wei Ying circles his arms around Lan Zhan´s neck.

  
“Lan Zhan… that day, I thought that if you caught me… I might understand my feelings for you better… I was feeling so many things that day, you see. All for you Lan Zhan. I had never felt like this ever before. But everything I ever felt was for you,” says Wei Ying hoping that Lan Zhan understand what he is trying to explain here.  
  
 _“You are all I have and love. Please do not push me away.”_  
  
Lan Zhan stops, ducks his head slightly and kisses his forehead. He lets his lips rest on his forehead for longer time, as if he is trying to transmit his sentiments in his skin to his soul, because everything that Lan Zhan has ever felt was also for Wei Ying only. Wei Ying moves his hands into Lan Zhan´s hair and tries not to break down. Lan Zhan then slowly moves away and starts walking again. Wei Ying tries again.  
  


“Lan Zhan… you would tell me if I have ever done something wrong, right?”

“Wei Ying would never do something wrong but if it happens. I will tell Wei Ying.”

“If I go away… would you be OK, Lan Zhan?” asks Wei Ying with heart screaming with pain because the distance it has been suffering is excruciating.

However, Lan Zhan suddenly turns it all to a question no one would ever expect. 

  
“Does Wei Ying want to go to Yunmeng for a few days?”  
  
“ _There he goes again._ _Kill me. Please_. _THAT WAS NOT THE POINT,”_ screams Wei Ying internally.  
  
“I… DO. NOT want to go to YUNMENG, Lan Zhan. I want to be where you are. Right here. Last time I went there… I…,” Wei Ying stops and breaths because he feels the veins on his temples are about to pop out.

This is maddening. He thought Lan Zhan was a very intelligent man, but clearly, there are some areas, Lan Zhan has to works his hardest on.  
  
“You… what?” inquires Lan Zhan, utterly oblivious to Wei Ying´s internal turmoil.  
  
Wei Ying gives him a helpless look, and goes,

“I missed… I missed white Magnolia flowers,

tall cherry trees,

rustling of writing brush on paper,

the smell of sandalwood,

white and blue gowns,

clouds and mountains,

and WangXian played on Guqin.”  
  
Lan Zhan´s stills and thinks perhaps time stilled with him. Did his Wei Ying just write and recite a poem in his name? Did he just do that? His eyes shine with the brilliant light of love that only Wei Ying has the power to light. Wei Ying cannot help himself, so he raises himself a bit up and pecks his husband´s cheeks and softly laughs to cover his shyness. 

Lord in heavens, help.  
  
“And?” questions Lan Zhan, though he knows the answer.  
  
“And?”, Wei Ying exasperates. “AND I missed you, Lan Zhan! So much, A-Cheng was so annoyed with me for that. He was this close to drown me in Yunmeng river,” Wei Ying pouts and Lan Zhan clutches him closer to his chest.  
  
“I would not let him do that,” Lan Zhan promises.  
  
 _“But do you know what YOU are doing, to ME?_ ” Wei Ying thinks to himself, screeching _._  
  
“Did… Did you miss me when I was away?” Wei Ying dares to ask and dreads the answer somehow.  
  
Lan Zhan gives him a strange look, as if he asked something nonsensical.  
  
“I always miss Wei Ying when he is not here.”  
  
He then slowly helps Wei Ying to stand on the ground of the veranda of JingShi. Wei Ying stands on the floor but does not remove his arms from Lan Zhan´s neck and Lan Zhan place his hand on Wei Ying´s back in return.

  
“Thank You Lan Zhan,” he whispers to him with all the love he has for the man.  
  
“Always welcome.”  
  
Always… Always is an unknown duration. A myth. As far as Wei Ying remembers, nothing has ever been his “Always”. Nothing lasts forever. So, what does “Always” mean?

  
“What is the duration of always, Lan Zhan?”  
  


“Always Wei Ying, is Always,” smiles Lan Zhan and Wei Ying want to do nothing but scream his worries right then and there, in Lan Zhan´s face.

Lan Zhan´s calm is triggering a storm in Wei Ying and he is scared of it. His eyes fill with frustration and tears. He looks down, clutches Lan Zhan´s gown from his shoulder blades and bites his lower lip to stop himself from shouting.

Perhaps he should cancel the night hunt tonight. Perhaps he should just spend tonight with his husband, try to untie the knots he does not know where came from. Perhaps he should…  
  
“I forgot to tell you, Wei Ying. I have night patrol duties tonight from midnight till morning, since you will be going on night hunt. Please, be careful tonight, OK?” says Lan Zhan.

Nope.

That is not at all what Wei Ying wants to hear from Lan Zhan. Wei Ying stares into nothingness for a while, his arms leave Lan Zhan´s neck, hands rest on his chest for a short while, nods, before he leaves Lan Zhan in the veranda quietly, and walks inside JingShi, alone.  
  
Lan Zhan stares at the setting sun in the West and feels his heart sinking just like the sun, in front of him. He has disappointed Wei Ying once again and he would never forgive himself for that.

Wei Ying leaves soon after his return to JingShi, after setting the dinner table for one only, since he did not feel hungry, and mumbling a goodbye to Lan Zhan who was washing himself behind the screen, not even waiting for the reply. They usually kiss each other goodbyes, but recently there has not been anything usual, and everything unusual. He then runs, without caring that running is forbidden in the cloud recesses and meets Wen Ning, who stares at him, with a lot of question, though he dares not asking a single one of them. an hour and a half later, A-Yuan, and JingYi´s group arrives. A-Yuan reaches for his arm, bends his head, whispering if he was OK. Wei Ying squeezes his hand in return and smiles back.  
A-Yuan looks at JingYi and shakes his head. They have to focus on night hunt.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
  


Absence of Wei Ying is always a punch in Lan Zhan´s gut and it is not a first-time occurrence either. Even almost three years long marriage has not helped him fully recovered from the 16 years separation and loss of Wei Ying that his soul mourned. They are both aware of it and though they do not talk much about it, they are slowly in the process of learning about each other and healing each other. Or at least this is what was happening until recently when Lan Zhan became like the present Lan Zhan.  
  


He looks around and sees his husband´s painstaking efforts of keeping the home as tidy as before and cheerful all at the same time. Before Wei Ying, Lan Zhan would not bring fresh magnolia branches and flowers to decorate the house. The stack of paper for talisman and Wei Ying´s books are organised which is so Lan Zhan like and not at all Wei Ying like. His closet was a size smaller but now doubled, and bed was a single one too. On Lan Zhan´s demand, Wei Ying settled on putting two pillows on the new double bed, though he ends up throwing his own pillow, and puts his head on Lan Zhan´s chest, instead. A painting of them, and A-Yuan, which is painted by Wei Ying, is hanging on the wall in the room where they receive visitors. Wei Ying has literally turned JingShi into a home, so warm, welcoming and cosy, for him, with his presence, Lan Zhan cannot help but to fall for him even more. All of Wei Ying´s changes in JingShi are carefully thought and he always asks Lan Zhan before he does something, making sure he is OK with it. He does nothing out of how he alone wants. Does not demand, not ask for anything for himself either. All his efforts are dedicated to Lan Zhan.  
  
Lan Zhan wants to give Wei Ying what he wishes and loves though. He wants him to be himself and follow his heart like he used to. The care-free and wild Wei Ying. The man who would not ask anyone opinions or permissions to do what he wanted. The one who would wander and wonder endlessly. He wants Wei Ying to have his freedom and not be so limited, inside Cloud Recesses.  
  


He is going around having those thoughts and walks towards bedroom. As soon as he walks into bedroom, he is stopped in his tracks and his frown appears. It seems like Wei Ying had left home in haste because he had thrown his clothes literally everywhere, while changing, and had forgotten to take new stack of talisman that he had made, on the dressing table. Lan Zhan worries. He is sure that the boys and Wen Ning would have enough of them, and should all fail, Wei Ying´s flute alone is more than enough. Still. Why did he rush like that?

Was he running to something or running away from something?

He starts gathering his clothes. Suddenly, he too has lost appetite. He looks towards bed and looks at the discarded gown of Wei Ying in his hands. It smells Water Lilies of Yunmeng, his Sandalwood scent, and Wei Ying. He undresses himself and decides to sleep until midnight, hugging to Wei Ying´s gown, and kissing it from time to time until he falls into deep sleep.  
  
His last thought into sleep is “Wei Ying”.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_They are sitting in JingShi. She is humming a song he does not recognise. As always, she looks pretty, young and very mischievous._

_  
Lan Zhan sits next to her and asks, “Where is this song from?”_

_“From my village. Far away. It does not exist anymore,” she replies.  
  
_

_“Did you… did you find your freedom?”_

_She shakes her head in negative._

_“What do you think freedom is, A-Zhan?”_

_Lan Zhan ponders for a while before he replies, “I think freedom is different for everyone. It is very subjective. When I think of freedom, I… I think of Wei Ying. Wei Ying is freedom, to me. My love for him. When I am with him, I feel this is how freedom must feel like.”  
  
“And what is his freedom?” she asks.  
  
“That… I do not know… He talks about being a pair of dragons in next life and flying free. He does not want to be a person in his next life. He loves travelling, learning new things, A-Yuan, spicey food and drinking alcohol. He is such a free spirit. Free and unafraid…” shares Lan Zhan and she smiles so affectionately.  
  
“A-Zhan talks much more when he talks about him. I think he loves you too, but you did not count that,” she says teasingly. _

_“He loves me a lot. He does. You… you are just like him too. So cheerful and full of energy, but you were not happy here, right? You left this world, longing to be free from Gusu? I do not want him to feel the same. I do not want him conditioned like he has been after marriage. I want him to be free.”_

_“A-Zhan! Did you not just say that freedom is different for everyone?”, she asks looking slightly worried.  
  
“Then… tell me. What is freedom to you?” he asks her almost pleading in agony.  
  
She smiles and shakes her head.  
  
“Do you hate father for brining you hear? Did you leave this world, hating him? Did you… ever… love him?”  
  
She turns away.  
  
“Please mother. Tell me. What is your freedom?”  
  
“I cannot tell you until I have found it, A-Zhan!” and with that she starts to fade away into light again.  
  
_

Gong rings Midnight and Lan Zhan wakes up, gasping for air, sweating in cold sweat, whispering “Mother”  
  
  
He hears his maddening heartbeat in his ears. It beats in love, and it beats with how mad his love is.   
  
  


____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  


Lan Zhan hears about Wei Ying running through Cloud Recesses and breaking few flowers pots as he ran into them, last evening at the breakfast. He also hears that yesterday something unexpected happened at night hunt, but no one could exactly tell him the details. He goes then to see his brother who seemed rather worried since he had heard the distress noise of returning party of night hunt and a very loud Jiang Cheng with them. Lan Xichen tells him that he heard someone was injured. Lan Zhan decides to be a bit late for his next meeting session and hurries towards JingShi to see Wei Ying home, but he comes only to meet with silence and emptiness. Hundred snakes of bad thoughts run through his minds.

Did something happen to Wei Ying. Why are people back but Wei Ying is not home?

Shaking his head, he almost runs out towards A-Yuan´s residence, which is not far from JingShi. He sees A-Yuan sitting outside at the veranda, face cupped in his hands, lost in thoughts. Lan Zhan cannot help to remember how A-Yuan used to sit just like this outside JingShi, waiting for him to come out and take him to Bunnies, every day. Suddenly, Lan Zhan feels like he is about to choke on his own emotions. He starts praying for Wei Ying to be OK.

“A-Yuan,” he calls him.  
A-Yuan jerks and stands up slowly, greeting his father formally, as always.

  
“Where is Wei Ying, A-Yuan? Was he not with you guys?” asks Lan Zhan, heart beating so fast with fear, he has to breath slowly to calm it down.  
  


“Oh… Father is sleeping in my room. He said he was too tired to move and asked me to bring some Emperor smiles from JingShi, then he just slept here.”  
  
Shocked, Lan Zhan stares at A-Yuan´s face that is also gloomy and worried. He notices a sharp pain of headache, and his eyes blacken for a while, before he manages to ask,

  
“Did… something happen?”

“Did something happen you say? That idiot fell of the tree and sprained his foot, almost fractured his head, and his hand and wrist has been bleeding from so many places, and YOU are standing here all prime and proper, not knowing anything about it? God knows what would have happened if I was not there. Han GuangJun, why you got married to that idiot if not having even a tiny bit of your precious time to check on how retard from time to time he can be? Haan?”

Nailing nails of sharpest words, he could find in his mind right into Lan Zhan´s heart, that voice belongs to no one other than Wei Ying, younger brother, Jiang Cheng of Yunmeng.

Lan Zhan cannot help but to feel that this scolding is well deserved.

“I had night patrol and then a meeting right after breakfast. I was not aware…” is all Lan Zhan says, before he stops himself because eyes of A-Yuan are tearing up and looking at him accusingly.  
  


Oh no.  
  


Jiang Cheng grunts in his trademark manner.  
  


“A-Yuan! Let us go check if Zewu-Jun is willing to greet a guest. I have to talk to him about something important, and he has not responded to my letter, yet. And you HanGuang Jun who appears where the chaos arises! husband of my good for nothing brother! the biggest chaos ever! If he is hurt one more time, I am going to come and break your legs in person! Now go and look at him, will you?” and with a threat that he actually means, Jiang Cheng leaves with A-Yuan, who turns twice to see Lan Zhan´s face.

Lan Zhan looks at the ground, digesting everything Jiang Cheng had thrown on him just now, then looks to see if someone else is around. He sees JingYi coming towards him with some clean white cloth and a bucket with clean lukewarm water for perhaps cleaning up Wei Ying. He takes both of the things from JingYi and instead, he tells JingYi to go to his uncle and informs him the following:  
“I would not attend any meetings and lessons today and tomorrow. My husband is injured, and I have a duty to tend him. Tell him, I apologies for any inconvenience.”

JingYi with mouth agape, stares at Lan Zhan, but Lan Zhan does not wait for his reply, turns and walks inside.

  
A-Yuan lives a very simple life in his newly granted residence. His interior is very much like JingShi, apart from some colourful items he has from Wei Ying and JinLing as gifts. He sees, three empty Emperor smile bottles, on the table, and a plate of fruits barely touched. On the floor he still sees some drops of blood, and his breathing hitches. As he follows the trail, his eyes reach their destination.

Wei Ying.

  
He is lying in bed, with head, left hand and right foot wrapped in bandages, still somewhat fully dressed but completely asleep. Lan Zhan puts the water bucket down, and white cloth on the side table and kneels next to bed. He then slowly reaches up and kisses Wei Ying´s forehead.

Wei Ying mumbles something in sleep. Lan Zhan moves closer to understand and regrets instantly, because Wei Ying was saying,  
  
“Lan Zhan you liar… you said you will always catch me, but you did not. You just want me gone away.”  
  
“I don’t, Wei Ying,” he whispers back to him, knowing that Wei Ying would not hear that.  
  


Lan Zhan moves away. An unexpected tear falls from his beautiful sun like eyes, but he ignores it, and start slowly undressing Wei Ying so that he is more comfortable. Once A-Yuan comes back, he will tell him to bring new set of clothes for Wei Ying from JingShi. He then cleans his face, his arms, his hand, his chest, his legs and his not injured foot. He then covers him properly and sits by the bed, on the floor, looking at his face, losing the track of time.

A-Yuan comes back, and finds Lan Zhan, holding Wei Ying hand, sitting on the floor next to bed, fast asleep. He walks back out, leaving his fathers undisturbed, thinking of something to do. First, he thinks of going to JingYi but then he remembers that he went to sleep. He should go sleep too, but he wants to do something because he is restless, and worried. He wonders and ponders for a while before deciding to do something daring. His father Wei did teach him to follow his heart.  
  
Rushing to kitchen, he prepares tea, and some snacks and then walks towards Lan Xichen´s residence. Lan Xichen answers the door at the second knock, slightly surprised to find A-Yuan there. In three years, A-Yuan has not come inside his residence though from time to time has been at his door, talking from the outside.  
  
“Greeting Zewu-Jun”, A-Yuan bows with a basket in his hand. “Father Wei could not accompany you for tea, so I thought perhaps I could, in his stead. I can return if you do not wish to see me?”

Lan Xichen lets a delighted laughter escape his lips.  
  


“A-Yuan! What made you think you are not welcome here. Come inside. This uncle will be so happy to have you here. I have missed my nephew very much you see. I often see you from the window, here,” he points at the window that opens towards the main ground of Cloud recesses where Young cultivators often gather.  
  
A-Yuan beams with happiness.

“I have… I have missed Uncle Xichen too. There is so much you have missed too,” says A-Yuan as he starts setting the tea and snacks on the table.  
  
Lan Xichen has some inklings about what A-Yuan wants to tell because Jiang Cheng has already shaken the daylight out of his mind about some of the things. After receiving the tea from A-Yuan, Lan Xichen waits, for a while and then asks A-Yuan,  
“Has Shufu been informed about what happened last night and today?”  
  
“Yes. Father Lan decided to cancel all meetings today and tomorrow to be with Father Wei. JingYi went to inform him. He was not happy but JingYi said he looks worried too and inquired about how swear the injuries of Father Wei were,” replies A-Yuan.

  
Father Lan and Father Wei, were two name Lan Xichen had come up for A-Yuan who would get utterly confused while explaining something about his two fathers since he had two fathers, and he would never call their names.  
  
“A-Zhan did that? Do not worry about Shufu. I am sure deep down he is really worried too.”

  
A-Yuan nods and places the plate with freshly cut peaches in front of Lan Xichen to which Lan Xichen smiles. Not many people in his life know about Lan Xichen´s love for sweet peaches. Him and A-Yuan used to bet on who would eat the most, when A-Yuan was a child. They then talk about many other matters including many subjects, and Lan Xichen is positively surprise at how grown up, educated and intelligent A-Yuan has become in three years, while he was absent from their lives. A-Yuan is so well verse in so many subjects, Lan Xichen is in awe.  
  
“A-Yuan, I know you are worried, but you see, sometimes, pain navigated communication in a very good way. I know Wei Gongzi is hurt, but perhaps this would teach A-Zhan to finally explain his behaviour. So, please do not worry too much. Just give this matter a few days, OK?”  
  
A-Yuan´s lips tremble and he looks at Lan Xichen for a while with emotions all over his face, before lungs at him and hugs him. Just like he would when he was little. Lan Xichen gasps but then slowly he wraps his arms around him, patting his head.  
“A-Yuan has grown up so well. He is such a perfect son and nephew. This uncle is so very proud of him. Your fathers taught you well”  
  
“You have taught me too. Never forget that. I have missed you uncle. I really have,” mumbles A-Yuan into his embrace.

Lan Xichen stops patting his head and bows his head. He had forgotten to think of his part of contribution in the tiny family he loves and adores. He was telling Wei Ying to take credits for his effort but he himself has to work even harder in exactly that area.  
  
“Thank you for reminding me of that, A-Yuan,” whispers Lan Xichen. “I really needed to hear that.”  
  


“Mn,” is all A-Yuan says and Lan Xichen laughs silently. His nephew has all grown up and adopted best qualities of not just both of his fathers, but some of his uncle´s as well. A child with strong, intelligent and unconditional love and guidance, tends to shine the brightest.

When Wei Ying wakes up, he sees A-Yuan who is lighting a candle and then a sharp pain in his hand, made him wince.

  
“Oh Snap,” whispers Wei Ying and moves his right leg to change the side he is lying on, only to wince again. “F…luff,” he curses his censored curse, and slaps his right hand to his head to silently screaming, “Mother….ffff…ARGH.”

Yes, he has forgotten all of his injuries.  
  
A-Yuan rushes to his bed, whispering, “Please do not move so fast father. You are injured. I will help you sit. OK?” and then he helps him slowly sit up, puts a pillow behind him and drapes the duvet around him properly.

He then brings some water and a powdery medicine which makes Wei Ying scrunch his nose. A-Yuan gives him a stern look, signalling that he has to take the medicine. Wei Ying pouts, and A-Yuan ignores it, looking adamant. Sighing, Wei Ying takes the medicine in defeat, mumbling,  
“Feels like I have given birth to a junior Lan Zhan and not my A-Yuan.”  
  
“You did not give birth to me, though father,” whispers A-Yuan who is about to crack because Wei Ying is hilarious out of nowhere, even when this injured.  
  
“Yes? Then who did? Lan Zhan? And why are you whispering?” he retorts.  
  
A-Yuan puts a hand on his mouth and points towards the left side of his bed. Wei Ying follows the finger. As soon as he sees what is being pointed at, his eyes bulge out and his mouth is suddenly touching the floor. Lan Zhan is sleeping on the floor, looking all innocent and dead to the world.  
  


Wei Ying blood boils but heart softens all at the same time and that is a betrayal in itself.   
  
“Send him away,” he mouths an almost mute whisper looking angry.  
  
  


“NO!”, is what A-Yuan mimes back replies looking stubborn, both arms folded on his chest.  
  
“A-Yuan! I am getting angry!” whispers Wei Ying looking like a mother who is about to give a good beating to her naughty child.  
  
A-Yuan looks at him, looks at Lan Zhan and then looks away.  
  
“A-Yuan! Who´s side are you at?”, he whispers louder this time, chewing each word. Lan Zhan stirs in his sleep and thousand vaults electric shocks suddenly run through Wei Ying´s body.

He jumps, slides down in bed, and turns his back towards the two people he is mad at right now, while hurting himself in the process. So, he ends up swearing at God knows what in his mind. That also does not make him feel any better. He wants to punch someone in the face.

“A-Yuan. I thought I heard your Wei Ying”

Lan Zhan´s voice is hoarse, and Wei Ying bite his underlip hard not to scream at him for having such beautiful voice when he wakes up. Gah!

“Uh… He… was awake, and I gave him the medicine you brought for him. He said medicine were making him sleepy so, he has fallen back to sleep, again,” says A-Yuan as he eyes Wei Ying´s retreated back.  
  


Lan Zhan sees through A-Yuan´s lie so he stares at him while saying, “I see. So, he fell asleep again?”  
  
A-Yuan sigh in defeat and shakes his head and put a finger on his own lip, with plea written in his eyes. Lan Zhan nods in understanding, thinks of something before he goes, 

  
“I will go inform the kitchen for dinner for you and Wei Ying as well as to bring a new set of his clothes from JingShi,” says Lan Zhan looking at Wei Ying´s back.

“It is OK father. I will be going to have dinner with JingYi and JinLing today,” he replies.

So far, no movement from the injured one.

“A-Yuan, did you see how your father fell from the tree last night?” asks Lan Zhan, eyes like Eagle, planted on Wei Ying´s tensed shoulders.  
  
“I will write the full report tonight before bed, and submit tomorrow, father,” replies A-Yuan and Wei Ying´s shoulder tremble slightly. He does not want Lan Zhan to know that he was being silly and took a risk to jump into danger himself, because he was mad and hurt. He was stupid.  
  
“Very well. Perhaps I should then carry Wei Ying back to JingShi before you come back. You need your sleep,” states Lan Zhan.  
  
  
“I AM NOT GOING TO JINGSHI!”

“Wei Ying?”  
  
  
  
  
Yes. Wei Ying has reached his limits of patience, and now his fear, yearning and anxiety has turn into anger. He is everything and he is mad.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Free(dom) Fall In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They learn and relearn a lot about each other through open communication. They learn that, Love in a free fall. The Biggest risk one take, and the purest emotion one feels. Love in existence is free. It is the most raw and most organic form of freedom and has no room for fear. They start to heal.

A-Yuan literally face palms himself. Wei Ying fell right into Lan Zhan´s trap.

“I am not going to JingShi!” he says again in voice trembling with anger and pain, without turning towards them.

“A-Yuan needs to rest to, and our bed would be much comfortable for you since its big and you are injured,” says Lan Zhan, looking at A-Yuan for help.  
  
A-Yuan seems lost in this quarrel. He looks back and forth at them, all mute.

“A-Yuan!” Wei Ying calls him sounding unusually strict, “Sleep at JingYi´s. I do not wish to sleep in the cold bed in JingShi. I am better here. I am sorry and Thank you.”

Wei Ying is not up for negotiations today.  
  
A-Yuan looks at Lan Zhan, questioning exactly what Lan Zhan has done to deserve this but seeing how Lan Zhan stands there so guilty, A-Yuan is more confused. This is the first time in his life he has seen his parents quarrelling. 

  
“What… happened father?” he asks them both, to which,  
“Nothing,” is the answer in unison from both of his fathers. The only different was Lan Zhan´s nothing was softer, and Wei Ying had screamed.  
  


A-Yuan´s confusion doubles and he looks at Lan Zhan, who shakes his head, as if saying, “Ask no more.”

A-Yuan, thinks for a while before he goes,  
“I will sleep at JingYi´s. There is a mattress and extra duvet in the closet, should it be needed.”  
  
“There is no need. Take your father with you and leave,” says Wei Ying.  
  


A-Yuan thinks _“O Boy,”_ as he looks at Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan does not budge from his spot, as he goes,  
“I will sleep here. Thank you, A-Yuan,”  
  
“You do not need to, Han GuangJun. Kindly leave,” says Wei Ying still very angry and still not turned towards them.

  
"Wei Ying?" 

  
  
A-Yuan points at the closet, and mouths “Extra Bedding”. Lan Zhan bows his head with a smile to thank him, and A-Yuan almost runs out of his own house.

It has been a very long time since he has seen a very angry Wei Ying. A very angry Wei Ying does not happen very often, but when it does, everyone should just either hide or run away. There is not third option. So, A-Yuan opted for the second one. Thank God JingYi does not live too far from where he lives. When he later tells JingYi about his parents having a fight, the dumplings that JinLing had brought with him for them, got stuck in his through, and A-Yuan had to hit and massage JingYi´s back for a long time to help him feel better.

Yes, it is indeed a shocking turn of events.

Lan Zhan as planned, also left Wei Ying alone to fume in fury, after refreshing the tea pot next to Wei Ying´s bed with fresh warm water and put the painkiller medicine next to it. Wei Ying then finds enough time to punch in the pillow to let his frustration out. He knows he should not be angry before knowing the actual reason of Lan Zhan´s distant behaviour, but still. He cannot help this built-up yearning, anxiety, pain and fear that has now turned into ANGER. He is angry, and he is hungry and being hungry makes him even more angry. That does not make sense, but since when have emotions any sense? They just are what they are.  
  
Meanwhile Lan Zhan comes back with two more bottles of Emperor smiles, a fresh set of clothes, and Wei Ying´ s favourite books that he from time to time reads when he is having a bad day. Lan Zhan places all of those things on table and asks Wei Ying if he needs anything, to which Wei Ying does not reply because he actually has dosed off due anger. Smiling softly, Lan Zhan places a secret kiss on his injured foot, tucks him carefully in the duvet, and then goes to kitchen. He asks the kitchen staff to bring out the spices that he keeps in stock there for Wei Ying, since Cloud Recesses´ bland food has not fallen to Wei Ying´s tastes after all these years. Since Jiang Cheng had visited, he knows that he must have brought all ingredients to make Shijie famous Ribs and Lotus root soup. Everyone in kitchen stare at the Esteemed Han GuangJun, His Excellency, standing in the kitchen, starting to cook with such confidence and passion, as if this was his actual profession. They cannot help but to envy Wei Ying who is so much loved because who would have thought Lan Zhan would one day enter the kitchen to cook, let alone to cook for someone. Once soup is done, he carefully dishes it out, and packs it to keep it warm, and thanks the kitchen staff to let him be there.

Leaving the entire kitchen awestruck, Lan Zhan slowly walks towards A-Yuan´s residence once again. There he finds that A-Yuan had already brought dinner for Lan Zhan and left a note for him from Lan Xichen. The note said,  
  


_“A-Zhan,  
Patience is a virtue, silence is a power, but only communication with comprehension would help to concur any conflict, big or small between two people. There is no fear that cannot be spoken about, and to speak up should never be feared. We all need to befree ourselves from what we fear.  
Good luck.”  
  
_

Lan Zhan folds the letter neatly and puts it in his chest pocket. He then walks towards Wei Ying, with the box, where he has Wei Ying most favourite dish.  
  
“Wei Ying, can you please wake up to eat a bit.”  
  
“Let me be, please,” mumbles Wei Ying in his sleep. Anger and hunger have exhaust him.

Smiling softly, Lan Zhan runs his fingers through his most favourite black hairlocks, with bright red ribbon. Wei Ying find it soothing and starts to dwell in deep sleep, when he hears,  
  
“Wei Ying, if you do not eat, you would not be able to take medicine. You will hurt more, and I do not want that to happen. Please,” Lan Zhan tries again.  
  
Wei Ying grunts. His angry side finds it ironic that Lan Zhan does not want him to be hurt though he has been hurting him recently. This is so infuriating, but he is still weak for Lan Zhan soft touches, and God help him, he is this close to snap, and summon his Yiling Patriarch side on himself for being THIS WEAK. Why does he have to be so weak for him?

Lan Zhan lets his hand slowly caress Wei Ying´s eyes, defined cheeks, side of his nose before he utters,  
“I made ribs and lotus roots soup for you.”  
  


That does it.

He opens he bottomless black eyes full of fury and stares directly at Lan Zhan´s soul, making him shiver. Very slowly he moves to sit up. Lan Zhan´s arms reach out to help him, which he blocks with his own, refusing the help.

“Lan Zhan! A heart is not a toy to toy with. You cannot use Shijie to get me feel better, right now. Try again!” says Wei Ying.  
  
“I would never do that. I made it, because Sect leader Jiang brought the ingredients, and I thought it would be good for you to eat, since you cannot eat a lot otherwise with the medicines you have to take,” explains Lan Zhan slightly perplexed from what Wei Ying had just said to him.

“I am not hungry. Thank you, and please go sleep in JingShi. Do you not have any duty tonight or things to do tomorrow? I do not want to be in your way. I request.”  
  
Lan Zhan grips the side of the bed tightly to take all small jabs from his husband right at his heart, and then lets a deep breath out. He unpacks the box, in which he carried the soup. He then gently places the napkin in Wei Ying´s lap and goes,  
“And… Right now, my earnest request is for you to eat, and take your medicine. Please, Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying huffs. He knows he is stubborn but if someone is more stubborn than him, it is none other than Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan scoops some soup with a piece of meat and raises the spoon towards Wei Ying´s mouth. Wei Ying gives him a look that says, “really?” to which Lan Zhan does not budge. He waits. Wei Ying hates to give up, but he still gives up. He opens the mouth, slurps the soup in anger, but then sits still.

His tastebuds are hugged by the most familiar, most loved, and most missed aroma and taste, it makes his eyes watery. He looks at Lan Zhan who is looking right back at him, worry written all over him.  
  


“Too spicy?” he inquires. Wei Ying shakes his head in negative.

“Too hot?” he inquires again to which Wei Ying shakes his head again, letting his tears run. Lan Zhan puts the soup on the table and asks,

“Then what is it?”

  
Wei Ying bunches the napkin in his hands, balls it into a ball and throw it at Wei Ying, almost screaming,  
  
“It’s you!”  
  
Lan Zhan´s face softens. Without getting even a tiny bit mad for Wei Ying to be such impossible person to talk to right now, he actually chooses to agree.  
  
“Mn. Its I.”  
  
“It IS you!”, Wei Ying repeats, now crying.  
  
Lan Zhan reaches closes to brush away Wei Ying´s tears. He understands everything Wei Ying is feeling right now. He misses his sister. One of the few good memories he has from his previous life, are his sister, Yunmeng, his brother and the ribs and lotus roots soup. Wei Ying has been missing it all, but most of all he has been missing his Lan Zhan.  
  
“Mn, I know. It is I,” he says in a very chiding voice. It does not work though.  
  
“Why is it YOU?” asks Wei Ying, not looking at him but the napkin he had thrown at Lan Zhan, which landed in Lan Zhan´s lap. Lan Zhan looks at the steam coming from the soup, and whispers,  
  
“Because. It is us, Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying is even more lost at this answer, and he does not know where to go from here in this conversation. He sits and looks at Lan Zhan´s eyes for a while, thinking hard about how to push this man out of this house, but his stomach makes a sound, announcing how hungry it is, and he is this close to stab it. Lan Zhan on the contrary, does not comment anything, reach for the soup again, scoops the soup and places closer to Wei Ying´s mouth which pouts slightly, before opening and slurps the soup.

That is a huge relief for Lan Zhan because he wants Wei Ying to get better soon. The other relief is that Wei Ying seems to like that soup a lot, because he did let a tiny “hum” as he chew the meat, which Lan Zhan pretended he did not hear but Wei Ying internally slapped himself for it. They do not talk at all, which is fine. Wei Ying ate the whole bowl of soup and takes the medicine. Lan Zhan places a hand on his forehead to check if he had fever or not, does not say anything but places another medicine in Wei Ying´s hand. Without a single peep, Wei Ying takes that medicine too.

Lan Zhan clears up the dishes. Eats a bit himself too, takes the extra bedding from the closet, and starts making his bed on the floor. Wei Ying does not have energy to fight, anymore. He is drowsy due medicine and emotions. He just looks at Lan Zhan doing whatever he wants, and then looks at the ceiling, counting Gusu Bunnies until he can fall asleep. Lan Zhan puts the books he brought of Wei Ying on the table next to his bed, takes off his outer robes, the crown and the forehead ribbon, and lies down in his bed. He does not extinguish the candle yet, because he knows Wei Ying is used to sleeping late.  
  
“Your back will hurt tomorrow from sleeping on the floor,” whispers Wei Ying.  
  
“It will be fine. Do not worry,”

“Lan Zhan… you are so stubborn,”

“Mn,” replies Lan Zhan, eyes closed.

Wei Ying looks at Lan Zhan´s face closely now, in the flickering light of candle. His eyes are closed, but eyebags are visible. He seems as if he has lost weight, and is so tired, no shattered. He seems shattered. Wei Ying´s heart fills with nothing but pain. He wants to know what is eating Lan Zhan up so silently. He tries to reach him with his injured hand, but the distance between his bed and Lan Zhan´s bed is wider than it seems. Wei Ying retreats his hand and feeling empty.

“If Wei Ying needs anything, please wake me up,” whispers Lan Zhan.  
  
“Tomorrow, I will go to Yunmeng with A-Cheng. He will come to take me with him. I do not know when I will come back,” whispers Wei Ying staring at Lan Zhan. He wants a reaction.  
  
He sees how Lan Zhan´s face whither, losing all his complexion though his eyes still remain close. He waits and he waits for him to say something, but silence is all they are enveloped with. Wei Ying is disappointed once again. He slides down in bed, contemplating life, death and everything between them. Lan Zhan then turns his back towards Wei Ying and clutches his chest. He does not know how to respond to that. Perhaps it would be good for Wei Ying to go to Yunmeng and be with his brother. Perhaps it would be good for him to go away, from this controlling place with the rules for literally everything. He has been working hard side by side with Lan Zhan though he is not used to any of it. He deserves a break and freedom.

_“But I will miss you,”_ is what he lets himself confess in his longing heart.

Wei Ying extinguishes the candle. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_  
“Mother… he is leaving,” he informs her._

_  
“When will he come back to you?” she asks.  
  
“I do not know,” he replied. _

_“Why?” she asks looking surprised._

_Instead of answering, he decides to ask her, “Is love selfish?”_

_She laughs, her beautiful laughter that echoes around JingShi. Reaching to touch the white magnolia in the vase, she answers,  
  
“Love is not selfish. Hearts and mind can be. People sometimes are selfish, due many reasons, A-Zhan. Nothing is black and white.”  
  
He nods, and thinks before he tells her, “I think I have been selfish. I have been selfish and now he is hurt. So, hurt that he is leaving. I am scared that I have done something just like father.” _

_The magnolia flower falls from his mother´s hand. She reaches for his hand and whispers,_

_“A-Zhan! I do not hate your father. Your father thought I did, but I did not.”  
  
Lan Zhan shakes his head not understanding anything, so she continuous, _

_“Your father fell in love with me, and I did not. Love could not be forced. Then due an unforeseen situation, his teacher ended up being killed by me, though I held no vicious intention towards him or Lan Sect. To save the woman your father loved, he bonded me in this marriage, that took my freedom to live how I wanted away but gave me a chance to live. Then I was blessed with you two and I had no complains left. Your father regretted many things, and I was a reminder of all of them. I wanted him to hate me, but he hated himself instead. I did not hate him, but I did not love him either. I did not wish him the life he chose after marrying me either. I did not wish him ill. I left this world with one regret, A-Zhan only.”  
  
Lan Zhan listens to her grief and asks her about what that regret was. _

_“My regret is, that I was not able to ask for forgiveness. He did not deserve the pain he ended up facing. I wish I could ask for it, so I look for him everywhere.”_

_“Then…”, Lan Zhan contemplates before he asks, “Then your freedom is…?”  
  
“My freedom is his forgiveness,” she whispers. _

_“Oh…,” is all Lan Zhan is able to utter, as everything starts to make sense._

_The penny dropped._

_“Your father was free to love me, but I turned his freedom of love to the cage he trapped himself in. If you think that he took my freedom away, think about it what have I not taken away from him, though it is not about that and certainly not for you to think of. Freedom, A-Zhan, is not in open wilderness or four walls of JingShi. Freedom is a right one is born with, and then a sense one gives to the others, allowing, acknowledging, respecting and honouring them to be who they are and as they are. Whether you get their companionship or not. Love is limitless. Love is above and beyond what we think. It is free in its existence. Love is the purest form of freedom, A-Zhan. In love, you are free.”_

_The door suddenly open and Wei Ying enters. Madam Lan stands up to greet him, but he looks at Lan Zhan and then goes,_

_  
“Madam Lan, take me with you. I do not wish to remain him.”  
  
Lan Zhan stops breathing. _

_“Wei Ying,” he whispers which Wei Ying ignores.  
  
_

_Madam Lan holds Wei Ying´s arm and goes, “I have nothing against it. If you are sure that you do not wish to stay here, I am happy to take you with me.”  
  
Lan Zhan gasps for breathing, and shouts “NO” but nothing comes out. _

_“I will pack my bag, Madam Lan. Please wait a bit for me.”_

_“No!” Lan Zhan screams in his mind, but he could neither move nor scream._

_He is paralysed._

_“NO! Mother!”  
  
“Please do not take him with you”  
  
_

_“Mother… Please no.”  
  
He shouts within his being but cannot move an inch, while seeing his mother turning towards the door, followed by Wei Ying, who does not even turn back to look at him.  
  
“Please. No. do not leave me. Wei Ying. Wei Ying!!!”  
.  
.  
.  
  
_“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! Wake up! Why are you sweating like this? Lan Zhan,”  
  
Someone is calling him, shaking him and trying to move him.  
  


“Please. Do not leave,” Lan Zhan begs.  
  
“Wake up first, Lan Zhan. Hey! You are gripping my injured hand,” he hears.  
  
“Not… with her…”  
  
“AHHH! LAN ZHAN IT HURTS,” Wei Ying shouts and with a jolt, Lan Zhan lungs up, opens his eyes and hugs Wei Ying.  
  
“I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am so very sorry Wei Ying. Forgive me.”  
  
Wei Ying has hard time sitting on the floor, but he tries to drag himself so that he can lean on the side table while having his crying and sweaty husband, whom he is still mad at, crushed into his chest. After a tiny negotiation with his own angry side, he gently moves his arms and hugs Lan Zhan, who plasters his face harder into his ribs, still trembling from what seems to be a nightmare.

“Hush… its OK. It was just a nightmare, Lan Zhan. Everything is fine,” he tries to calm him down.

Lan Zhan shakes his head in negative, tickling his ribs. It took Lan Zhan a while to recover from whatever it was that he had seen. Wei Ying was in deep sleep when he heard Lan Zhan shouting his name and telling him not to go with her. He also shouted for his mother. His first reaction was to reach for his flute and attack whomever was attacking Lan Zhan but then he saw no one, yet a tossing and turning Lan Zhan on the floor. It took Wei Ying good five minutes to be able to manoeuvre himself from the bed, slowly down to the floor and then sliding towards Lan Zhan. When he reached for his back, he noticed how sweaty he was, and to his utter shock, he saw Lan Zhan crying while calling for him. Something very scary might have happened in his dream, thought Wei Ying to himself but he decided to wait to ask about it.

Wei Ying starts to brush his hair with his right hand when he hears,  
  
“Everything is not fine. Nothing is fine. I… made a big mistake,”

  
Wei Ying stops brushing his hair. Lan Zhan continuous.

“I have been selfish. Selfish to think that Wei Ying might be happier if not here for a while, but I also cannot be without you either. Selfishly, I thought if I put some distance in between us, I would be able to let you leave for a while so that you can be the happier and free self. In three years of marriage, we have been more duty bound, than anything else. You have turned yourself into one of us literally, and I am afraid one day you would lose your real self, and then feel like… like my mother did… I was afraid that if that happens, you might… end up hating me… So selfishly I planned to push you a bit away… but it hurt me to do that too because I was hurting you and I…” his breathing hitches as he almost sobs into Wei Ying´s chest.  
  


Wei Ying takes a moment to sink it all in and concludes it as the highest form of stupidity with all the good intentions. He lets out a deep breath, and decides to not blow up yet, but let Lan Zhan pour his heart out first, because it is rare, before he will shake the day and night lights out of him.

“Lan Zhan… what made you think and plan of all that?”

“I… I saw my mother in my dream,” whispers Lan Zhan.  
  
Wei Ying starts brushing his hair again and hums,

“She was in JingShi, and she said… she was looking for her freedom. She did not have freedom here and was locked in JingShi and she asked about you…So, I”  
  
“Where is she buried?” asks Wei Ying, reaching for his flute, ready to summon her and tell her off instead of Lan Zhan. Who knew suddenly Wei Ying would have to be part of an ancient mother-In-Law and son-in-law drama? Not that he cares of how it will be received by the audience. He just wants to go and tell her that this is all her fault and have his Lan Zhan back.  
  
“No, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan puts his hands on Wei Ying´s chest and looks up, “Wei Ying you have to let me finish. Please put the flute down.”

Full moon peeking from the window helps him to see the most beautiful features that Lan Zhan is blessed with. Wei Ying heart thuds a loud thud, reminding him of how helplessly in love he is with this man. He could not help but to touch Lan Zhan face with his injured hand. Lan Zhan rubs his cheek into his palm softly, wanting to be closer to feel Wei Ying.  
  
Wei Ying yet again, sighs his life away, and summons the last straws of patience to listen further.  
  
“Mother… mother talked to me. She asked me what my freedom was, and I told her, being with you and loving you is my freedom. Then, she asked me what yours was and I did not know. I just… assumed what I should not have. Seeing her roaming the world, even in her after life, looking for freedom, was hurtful. She might have had her own wishes, desires, and dreams too. She might have had someone she loved too. However, she ended up with nothing, lived here all her life, locked up, never able to leave JingShi, never could visit her village, or take visitors from her village. She could only meet us once a month, Wei Ying. In my dreams, she keeps coming around Gusu and JingShi and keeps telling me she is looking for it. It made me think… think if what if… you…”

“I am not her, Lan Zhan!” states Wei Ying sternly.

“But…”

“Lan Zhan! You fool! I. Am. Not. Her. You are not your father. What part of this did you miss in all that foolishness, Haan?”

  
There. That strict and angry tone of Yiling Patriarch is out. Lan Zhan cannot help but shudder, staring up at his beloved´s face. Wei Ying looks furious but even in his fury, he is nothing but gorgeous. Unconsciously Lan Zhan hands raises up, to touch his face, but held by Wei Ying´s hand in mid-air, making him look right into his eyes.

“Repeat it with me, Lan Zhan!”

“What?” asks Lan Zhan confused.

“Say it. Wei Ying is not her and I am not my father” states Wei Ying, still furious.

Obediently, Lan Zhan, repeats, “Wei Ying is not her and I am not my father. But Wei Ying…”  
  
“No buts. You Lan Zhan… you have the nerves to even imagine a comparison their painful and loveless marriage to ours? You narrowed our companionship and mutual sentiments we hold between us, our commitments and bond to what? A few weeks paid holidays for me?”

  
Lan Zhan shakes his head.

“No. No, Wei Ying. I want to give you all you want and love. I would not take anything away from you. I am used to follow routines, rules and being confined like this and you are not. It has been three years; you have constantly been here apart from one trip to Yunmeng for two days only. I am so used this, but when I see you longing for somewhere not here, or reminiscing past life´s adventure, wanting to be dragon and birds, I cannot… I cannot… help but to feel bad for you. I fell in love with you free and unafraid soul, Wei Ying. Nothing could hold you back. Your heart was your compass and you followed it so boldly, I was always in awe. After marrying me, you are bestowed with duties after duties. I feel, as a husband, I failed to provide you the happiness you were used to. You deserve so much more,” explains Lan Zhan

“This is stupid… nerve-wrecking Lan Zhan… my head hurts,” says Wei Ying hitting back of his head to the side table that he is leaning on. That is when Lan Zhan remembers that Wei Ying is actually injured.  
  
“Wei Ying, you are hurt,” he pushes himself away to check on him.

“Right now, the core of my being is hurt more than anything else. I cannot sit here properly for long though, so help me…”  
*Gasp*  
Lan Zhan carries him up and walks towards the bed. He softly puts him on bed and whispers a sorry. Then, he is about to walk away, but Wei Ying reaches for him, dragging him down to bed too.

“Where do you think you are going? We are not done yet,” says Wei Ying.  
  
“To drag my bed closer,” replies Lan Zhan and Wei Ying makes an annoyed sound.  
  


“To hell with that bed. Come over here,” he says patting his chest. Lan Zhan thinks for a moment, moves Wei Ying to the side of the bed a bit more, put a pillow under his injured foot. There is only so much space on a single bed. He then lies down half on rest of the bed, and half on Wei Ying, with head on his chest, which is very unusual for them both. Still, he does just like he asked him to.  
Wei Ying drags the duvet on both of them, then moves his arms under the duvet, around Lan Zhan. They both silently let the quietness help them organise their thoughts and emotions. Lan Zhan knows he was wrong, and Wei Ying now knows that although Lan Zhan was wrong to assume things, his fear was so very natural and expected since he has seen his mother suffering. What child would not be afraid of the pain his mother has suffered in front of them. To every child, their mother is the most precious, first source of love and first sense of safety. To Lan Zhan his mother was just that, and now it is Wei Ying. Wei Ying cannot help but to kiss Lan Zhan´s head, and Lan Zhan, clutches side of his ribcage, as to say how sorry he is again.

“Was your mother very similar to me, Lan Zhan?” whispers Wei Ying.

“She was. She was full of radiance and mischief. Big brother´s smile is just like hers. She would always tease me, tells me stories about her childhood, sing foreign songs, and dance with her fan. She would try to make me talk and laugh but I… I was so… different than her but I loved her. Her laughter was beautiful just like yours. JingShi used to echo each time she laughed. I loved that sound. She would often say that in her next life, she wishes to have wings. Wings that would make her fly, far, far away. Whenever she would say that she would be so very sad,”  
  
Wei Ying listens to it, and feels so good to have Lan Zhan talking to him about the things he never was aware of.

  
“She sounds like a nice lady, Lan Zhan. You should talk about her more with me. If she was alive, I think her and I would have gotten along so well, don’t you think?” says Wei Ying, moving hair away from Lan Zhan so he could peek at his face.

Lan Zhan looks up with sad eyes, and Wei Ying´s heart breaks.

“In my dream, you told her that you wanted to go with her as you did not want to be here, and she agreed. You were leaving me with her, Wei Ying,”

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying tries to chide him.

“I cannot bear separation from you once again. Not for a day. It leaves me empty. This is selfish too. I know. I know, but I… I am scared Wei Ying. Losing you is worse than losing my life,” sobs Lan Zhan right into his chest and Wei Ying wants to burn down the entire world that has made up the generational cycle of painful traumas which lead to his Lan Zhan feel so much hurt, resulting him to feel scared.

The story of Madam Lan is still a remaining mystery though the pain is an open book for anyone to feel. Lan Xichen being different than Lan Zhan of course dealt with his grief differently. Lan Zhan does not show, nor express. He is frozen in the past, in a snowy evening when the doors of JingShi never opened, mother never showed up, and uncle informed that she was gone.

Wei Ying´s eyes well up with tears.  
  
“Lan Zhan! My dearest Lan Zhan. You should have just talked to me. We could have just figured it out, without having it blown out of proportion like this. I also have been so scared. I thought you did not need me anymore. I thought you did not want me anymore. I thought perhaps you fell out of love… I was so scared, I felt like dying,” whispers Wei Ying into Lan Zhan´s hair, letting pearls like tears fall into his husband´s hair.

“I am sorry,” whispers Lan Zhan, wrapping his arms around Wei Ying.  
  
“I missed you. Even though I was with you, I missed you. You kept drawing new lines between us, and I did not know how to jump over them to get you back. I was the one who proposed the marriage, Lan Zhan. I was well aware of who you were, where you from and what implications our marriage would have. I was the one who chose to live here, I asked for the duties myself, Lan Zhan. You let me be free to choose it all. I am not locked here, and neither am I lost. How did you not remember this? Hmmm?”  
  
“I am sorry Wei Ying,” whispers Lan Zhan, lips trembling right above his heart.

“I am a free spirit and I love freedom more than anything. Falling in love with you Lan Zhan, was the free fall in love that I willingly took. Loving you is my only freedom that I would never compromise on. My heart is my compass, and it directs me to you. You are my home Lan Zhan, without you I will be homeless, so exactly where do you try me sending off to? I want to remain home, Lan Zhan. There has not been a moment I regretted loving you, marrying you or living in cloud recesses. Did I not tell you, when I am not here, I miss it? I miss it because you and everything related to you is right here. Everything is a reminder of you. My only love.”  
  
“I am sorry… I love you,” says Lan Zhan and Wei Ying smiles into his tears.  
  
“For me, nothing but you are my happiness, my wish, my desire, my hope and my dream. I never asked heavens for anything else but you. You loved me just as I am. In both lives of mine, Lan Zhan. You took me just as I am and even took our son as he is. How could I not be happy with you? How can I leave you? I do not regret you. Do you hear me? I do not regret…”  
  
Lan Zhan cuts him off with his lips, that are wet with his own tears. Wei Ying give into and into the taste of his tears. They let each other feel what words would never be able to express anyway. Yearning, fears, longing, regrets, hurts, and love. Their kisses carry all sentiments through the exchange of breaths, in hope that it would balm their aching soul. They take their time, one kiss turns into two, and two into countless. There is no rush. None of them is willing to part, but they have to since they have to breath. Lan Zhan moves away only enough to whisper,  
  
“I love you Wei Ying. All I ever wished for, hoped for, desired, dreamed of, and begged the heavens for is, You. I do not regret you, I will never. Without you, I too am homeless. I am lost. I am nothingness.”

“Then promise me. Talk to me about these things too please. No matter how trivial they are. We are life partners, Lan Zhan. We are supposed to communicate, to understand each other better, so that we can strengthen our relationship. There is no shame in being scared, or stupid,” says Wei Ying, almost pleading.

“I promise. I am sorry I hurt you. It was not my intention, but I am not excusing myself from my misconduct. I was wrong.”

“I forgive you. Let us try to not let it happen again. It might happen though… we might end up hurting one another unintentionally again. Still let us not be scared of it and talk about it, OK? Please. No more distance and silence.”

“Mn,” says Lan Zhan. “Would Wei Ying also promise that if something is hard to handle here, or if Wei Ying wants a break from Gusu, he will tell me? Also, never do anything like he did last night,” demands Lan Zhan, eyes still glassy, red, and so innocent, Wei Ying wants to hide him from the world.  
  
“I promise, but Lan Zhan. I am sorry. I was stupid last night. Also, I do not want to ever go away alone. I want to travel with you. So perhaps you should see how you can find some time off, so that we can both go?” asks Wei Ying smiling at him.

“I will ask Shufu. Anything else?” says Lan Zhan determined and this makes Wei Ying smile even more.

“Yes. Lan Zhan! Depend on me. Fall back on me. I am right here to catch you. You do not have to be alone to protect and support me. I want to do the same and more for you. We are both husbands, Lan Zhan. There are days where I would need you to shelter me, but when there are days that you need to be sheltered, come to me. I will hold you in my embrace and hide you in my chest, Lan Zhan. I can do that.”

“I promise,” say Lan Zhan, heart so full of emotions, he feels it might combust.   
  
“So, now, can I have my beloved Lan Zhan, My Lan Er-GeGe that was never once afraid or hesitant of loving the wild and crazy me back please? I miss him truly,” says Wei Ying letting his tension melt into his own laughter.

Lan Zhan smiles a smile so brilliant, it put billion blazing sun to shame. He rises up and kiss Wei Ying´s forehead, his eyes, tip of his nose, his cheeks, his chin and then his lips, whispering

  
“He never left. You have him forever.”  
  


“Ugh. Why am I injured and why are we in our son´s bed, Lan Zhan?” he sighs regretting.

“Because it is what Wei Ying wished for,” replies Lan Zhan smiling softly at him.  
  
“Yes, yes,” says Wei Ying waves his hand in air, “All my fault that I am deprived of what I could have had but cannot have. The lack of affection from my husband is my fault,” acting like the biggest victim in the world.  
  
Lan Zhan´s smile gets bigger.

“Not Wei Ying´s fault. It is all my fault.”  
  
“That is right! All your fault. Now make it up for it,” says Wei Ying smiling right back at him.  
  
“And how do you wish me to do that?” asks Lan Zhan playing along.

“Though the list of how you have to make up for it is long, since our circumstances are not favourable. Let us go with the easiest one. Kiss me, Lan Zhan. Kiss my pain away,” demands Wei Ying.

And that is exactly what Lan Zhan does. He kisses him, again and again. Meeting his lips, as they crash into each other´s being like ocean hits its shores for the ocean in its existence is free.

When Wei Ying wakes up again, he is in JingShi. He moves his gaze around to look for his husband who is sitting by the tea table, with Lan Xichen, having tea.  
  
“Zewu-Jun?” question Wei Ying, eyes still blurry, questioning his brain whether it is a dream or not because in three years, Lan Xichen has not left his residence.

  
“Good afternoon, Wei Gongzi. Hope you are feeling a bit better today?” replies Lan Xichen, kind in his voice as always.  
  
“O My God! Lan Zhan! Its Zewu-Jun!” exclaims Wei Ying, making Lan Xichen laugh.  
Lan Zhan gets up, walks up to him to help him sit up in bed.  
  
“Lan Zhan,” he whispers his name.

“Big brother has been worried, and he wanted to see you with his own eyes to make sure that you are alright, Wei Ying,” explains Lan Zhan.

  
“Thank You, Zewu-Jun. It really was nothing. Just that, JinLing jumped out of nowhere in a dangerous situation and I had to jump and save him but lost my footing. That is all,” he explains.  
  
Both brothers stare at him, with “Oh Really?” written all over their faces, making Wei Ying bite his underlip, as he coughs. Lan Zhan fills a cup of water and gives it to him. Wei Ying receives the cup and squeezes his hand in the process. Lan Zhan squeezes it back, and Wei Ying blushes.

“I also wanted to tell Wei Gongzi good news,” says Lan Xichen.

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan look at him, waiting for the good news.  
  
“I have decided to come back to take over my sect leader duties. I think I can handle them. I wanted to ask if I could use A-Yuan´s assistance from time to time because I would be in need of his competence and support. I would need to ask about JingYi from Shufu too. They are young, but very capable. It would be good for them to learn these things. Since you are A-Yuan´s parents, I thought to ask for permission”, says Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan looks to Wei Ying who is so touched right now, he is at loss of words.  
  
“Big brother. Are you sure about getting back? If you need more time…”  
  


“No, A-Zhan. I have already taken enough time. Shufu also needs rest, and you have your family to look after beside your duties. I cannot let grief block me to live. It is time to be free from the past, A-Zhan.”  
  
Lan Zhan nods his head in agreement.

“Welcome back, Zewu-Jun. Thank you for sharing such a good new with us” says Wei Ying smiling, and Lan Xichen smiles back,  
  


“Of course, I had to share it with my friend like brother-in-law. Without you support, I could not do this. It is good to be beck. I am sorry I took it this long.”

“I have no problem with A-Yuan and JingYi assisting big brother, as long as their classes are not disturbed. Their duties could be managed differently. Wei Ying, what do you think?” asks Lan Zhan.  
  
Wei Ying smiles, feeling so honoured to be A-Yuan´s father yet again.  
  
“I agree with you, Lan Zhan.”  
  
Lan Xichen smiles at both of them and thank them once again.

  
A-Yuan comes and supports Lan Xichen to walk since physically he is still weak and would need to work hard to build that physical strength back. As they walk together, A-Yuan holding his arm, walking on the way they both are so familiar with, Lan Xichen slowly whispers,  
  
“A-Yuan, this is just like old days. Before I used to hold your hand to support you, now you hold my arm to support me.”  
  
“The point is not past, present, you or I, uncle. The point is, we support one another whenever it is needed. That is what my fathers have taught me,” says A-Yuan smiling back at him.  
  


Lan Xichen sighs in relief because future seems promising.

  
  


Back in JingShi, after enjoying yet another home-cooked meal by Lan Zhan, Wei Ying informs him that he should cook for him more often and Lan Zhan agrees with it, promising that he will do so. Lan Zhan cleans Wei Ying wounds, put new bandages on, takes bath and then comes to bed. Wei Ying, looking all cosy, all wrapped up in duvet, waiting for him. Reaching for a pillow for Lan Zhan, Wei Ying pats the place next to him. Lan Zhan pulls the pillow and throws it away just like Wei Ying does. He then lies down, places his head on Wei Ying´s chest, and Wei Ying think he would die of the love he feels for this man right here.

“Is my husband in need of hiding?” asks Wei Ying giggling delightfully.

“Mn,” says Lan Zhan and Wei Ying laughs his beautiful laughter, that echoes in entire JingShi.

“For how long?”  
  


“Forever?”

“No! I need my husband out and about sometimes for several important reasons, please” says Wei Ying, laughing because Lan Zhan tickles him to make him agree to him.

They relearn each other again, rise and fall into each other, drown in passion and let all the barriers between them diminish once again.

Separation turns into oneness.

Fear is defeated and love wins.

Love always wins.

**A month later**

Wei Ying has decided to wear robes of Gusu Sect today, for a change. White and blue suits him too and he knows his husband secretly loves him in those colours too. He is doing his hair when Lan Zhan comes inside and then stops right where he is because the view in front of him is too beautiful to disturb. Knowing, Wei Ying cannot help but to smile in victory.

“Wei Ying, you are dressing in Gusu Sect attire?”, he asks.  
  
“Well, I do belong to Gusu Sect too, no?” replies Wei Ying playfully.  
  
“You do. You look beautiful,” says Lan Zhan as he walks towards him.

“When do I not?” asks Wei Ying nonchalantly.

“There is not a single moment when you do not,” replies Lan Zhan earnestly and Wei Ying blushes which was not his plan. He wants to stop blushing, but Lan Zhan has a way of doing things and Wei Ying loves it. He loves him.

  
Lan Zhan has a box in his hand, which he places in Wei Ying´s lap. Wei Ying looks at the box and then him.

“For you. Open it,” says Lan Zhan.  
  
Wei Ying opens the box and finds a hairpin, so beautiful, it leaves him awestruck. There are two dragons engraves in silver and Gold, one with blue stone eyes and one with red stone eyes, tied together, like a sign of infinity.

“Lan Zhan,” he whispers his name like a prayer.

“Mother´s. There was only one dragon with green stones in the eyes though. So I changed the design to two, so that it suits you perfectly,” explains Lan Zhan and Wei Ying moves his fingers on the design, thinking and praying for his mother-in-law, thanking her for giving him Lan Zhan.

“Happy third wedding anniversary to Wei Ying,” says Lan Zhan taking the hairpin from his hands, and putting it in Wei Ying´s beautiful hair. Wei Ying is stunning, and the hairpin makes him even more stunning.

“Thank you, Lan Zhan,” he says feeling so many emotions all at the same time. “Please burry this with me, when I die,”  
  
“I would not be able to do so. I am sorry,” says Lan Zhan looking equally emotional.

“Why?” asks Wei Ying startled at the refusal of Lan Zhan waiting for an explanation like, it is the family heirloom, has to be in museum, not in graves, and recite a Gusu Sect rule about it etc. but Lan Zhan stuns him.  
  
“Because I wish to be buried with Wei Ying that very same day, and I am not sure I will be able to fulfil this wish of yours. I cannot promise it,” says Lan Zhan.  
  


Wei Ying turns and hugs Lan Zhan from his waste, face in his stomach.

“Lan Zhan, you are too good with words,”  
  
“Words are poor and not eloquent in front of the love I have for Wei Ying.”  
  
“O My God Lan Zhan! My heart will stop with your sweet talk.”

“Not sweet talk, only true feelings. Only for my husband,”

  
Wei Ying actually thinks he would faint. He would so do, but then he remembers something important. Fainting needs to wait.

  
“I have a gift for you too, but it is not here. You would need to wait for it until the evening. We are having dinner where the bunnies are, OK? Please do not be late,” says Wei Ying, looking up at Lan Zhan. He loves looking at him like this. Lan Zhan bends down to kiss his beautiful lips and nods in agreement. He loves that too.

In the evening, Lan Zhan goes to the exact location that Wei Ying had invited him to. He spots a temporary built stage, and on there he spots Wei Ying is still in his Gusu Sect robes, wearing his mother-in-law´s hair pin that he shows off whole day to everyone, so proudly. At the side of the stage, he sees A-Yuan, JingYi, JinLing and the other young cultivators with their music instruments.

“Wei Ying,” he calls him to let his presence known.  
  
The young cultivators stand up and bow to greet him. Lan Zhan greets them back and looks back at Wei Ying. Wei Ying smiles again and bows to him like an opera singer would to their audience.

  
Lan Zhan stares, heart beating faster than usual. Utterly stunned.

  
  
Music begins and it is not difficult for him to realise that what the young cultivators are playing is an improvised version of WangXian. It confuses Lan Zhan slightly. As soon as music begins though, Wei Ying makes a small and poised movement with his hand and opens a hand fan that flutters plum blossom all around Lan Zhan.

Smiling happily, he then turns around so elegantly and dances on the rhythm of WangXian. Lan Zhan finds it hard to breath. In front of him, he does not only see his own husband dancing, but remembers how his mother used to dance around him, all at the same time.

Wei Ying remembered that his mother loved dancing. That is why he is dancing now for him, on their song, to show him how happy and free he is with Lan Zhan. To turn the painful memory of his mother´s dance into the dance where love of his life dances to him to confess and promises his eternal love. The movements of his limbs are so flexible and fluid, Ouyang Zizhen misses a few beats to play, staring. When Wei Ying spreads his both arm in the air, the wind helps his outer robes with huge sleeves flutter his entire outfit in air, making him look like a beautiful butterfly, flying in peace to wherever it would want to.

He is dancing in a hope that what he is expressing from his head to his toe, on the beat of their song, reaches to Lan Zhan.

Oh! it does reach. It does. Lan Zhan cannot move his eyes away. He seems arrested.  
Wei Ying´s feet do not miss one beat, and Lan Zhan does not miss a single movement, refusing to blink his eyes.

Wei Ying tonight was alluring. Intoxicating. All his.

Lan Zhan can feel thrilling sensation rushing through his spine.

He needs his man in his arms.

Music stops. Wei Ying bows to Lan Zhan and Lan Zhan bows back to him. Wei Ying thanks the boys for helping him out with this and they happily tell him that he is welcome anytime to ask them. They also wish them a very happy wedding anniversary. A-Yuan pouts to them saying that they still have not told the name of the song to him, to which Wei Ying laughs and winks saying, “Secret.”

  
Now, two of them are left alone, Wei Ying still on the stage, Lan Zhan still on the ground, not so far from him.  
  
“Happy Anniversary husband. I hope you liked your gift?” says Wei Ying, with eyes twinkling like galaxies.  
  
“I loved it. Thank you,” says Lan Zhan, meaning every word, head filled with beautiful moves of Wei Ying that he did not know he had.  
  


“I am glad, and you are welcome” says Wei Ying.

“You look so gorgeous today, Wei Ying”

“Just like the first time you saw me?” asks Wei Ying.

  
  
“Just like the first time I saw you. At the gates of Cloud recesses, in Gusu Sect uniform”, replies Lan Zhan.  
  


“How did I look like back then?” he asks.

  
  
“Intelligent, brave, untamed and breath-taking,”

Wei Ying starts blushing, laughs so loud all the bunnies around raise their head to look here and there.

“How do I look now?”

  
  
“Intelligent, brave, untamed, breath-taking… and all mine,” replies Lan Zhan and Wei Ying laughs even more, hiding his face behind the fan he danced with earlier.

Lan Zhan smiles at how adorable his husband is, knowing fully well that he is blushing to death behind the fan.  
  
“I did not know you could dance, Wei Ying,”

  
  
“There is a lot we do not know about each other. So, I thought starting from today, we should let each other in on the things we do not know. Talking does us good, I noticed”

“Wei Ying is always so thoughtful,” says Lan Zhan.  
  
“Lan Zhan is just so loveable,” says Wei Ying smiling at him and Lan Zhan laughs at him, eyes shining with emotions only for his Wei Ying.

They stare at each other saying nothing but everything and then unexpectedly, Wei Ying jumps.

_Free fall._

Of course, Lan Zhan catches him.

Like always. Lan Zhan is there to catch him.

They are each other free fall, in love. They are each other´s love. The love that is nothing but their endless freedom.  
  
_“Mother,”_ Lan Zhan whispers in his heart while clutching Wei Ying to his chest. _“Can you see? We found our freedom in each other.”_

The soft breeze rushes through entire Cloud Recess, spreading the scent of Magnolia flowers everywhere, brushing their cheeks, ever so softly, humming like a lullaby a mother would sing.  


Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made this far? Well done! and thank you so much. 
> 
> A few things I would like to say, 
> 
> \- I chose to write "Father Lan" and "Father Wei", instead of "A-Die" and "Baba" because I was confusing myself while writing. 
> 
> \- The sentiments of Madam Lan for me personally were so important to express and they are written all according to how I, personally felt about her and Sir Lan´s relationship. 
> 
> \- It is pure imagination of mine that created the understanding and strong bond between Lan Xichen and A-Yuan. I imagined to be it just like that since Lan Zhan was ill for many years, and I believe it was Lan Xichen who might have been the main support for A-Yuan.
> 
> \- The quote that is written in Lan Xichen´s letter to Lan Zhan is my own, just like rest of the words here. This quote in particular, is part of an actual novel I am working on. 
> 
> \- The hairpin that Lan Zhan gives Wei Ying is something out of my own fantasy, which is not so great yet wild. I am pretty sure there are many resembling designs if you just google, "Infinity dragon hairpins" in our bestie, Google. 
> 
> \- Please be kind. 
> 
> \- Thank you so very much for your time to read my story. I will pop up all the sudden again, with something new, for us all.


End file.
